Aftermath
by Killian's Swan Song
Summary: Killian's back from the Underworld and trying to adjust back to life in Storybrooke, but Emma's avoiding him, and he doesn't know why. 5B drabble, oneshot, rated T to be safe.
It had been three days since their return from the underworld, or Underbrooke as Henry had called it, and things were as familiar and normal as could be, given the circumstances, Mary Margaret had been fussing over Killian, constantly feeding him, insisting he had to stay with them because of her worry over injuries that hadn't made it through the journey, the cuts and bruises had disappeared the minute they made it out of the underworld, even though Killian felt their constant pressure and weight even now. David was picking up the slack at the sheriff's station, running errands and calling him, to see how he was adjusting back to life above, no doubt thanks to his Swan, Henry on the other hand had barely left Killian's side, he refused to go to school and was constantly making up excuses as to spend time with him, time spent asking questions about his brother, Liam Jones, Killian let his mind wander back to Underbrooke when the two had finally met, on their departure out of the dark version of Storybrooke.

"So, you must be Emma Swan?" She hesitated, turning, and noticed the strong jaw, the way the man stood tall and proud, the way he squared his shoulders, the familiar lilted accent, and suddenly it dawned on her.

"Liam Jones."

Killian gasped, grunted with pain and pushed himself forward, ignoring David and Robin's protests to not injure himself further, and threw himself into Liam's waiting embrace.

"Little brother"

"That's younger brother" Killian argued. Emma watched the two men, tears glistening her eyes, reaching blindly to her side to find Henry's hand outstretched and waiting, she smiled and bowed her head, feeling as though she was interrupting a private moment that she had no part of.

"You've come to save my little brother? To take him home?" Emma looked up, noticing the pair looking at her, she took a second to admire the similarities, Liam's arm still firmly under Killian's to keep him steady, or she supposed to keep him close. Liam was older, stood taller and straighter but Killian stood a good inch or two taller than him, Killian had more lines surrounding his face, years of heartache, pain and worry etched into his face forever, each mark telling another new story that she wanted to hear once she was out of this hell.

"Umm... Yes, I'm Emma Swan, I'm here to save your brother, to bring him home, you have to know that your brother is a great man, the things he's done for me, for my family and our whole town, you should be so proud of him, the only reason he's here is because of me and-" a sob choked her throat and prevented her from speaking further, tears over spilling onto her pale cheeks. Henry wrapped one arm around his mother, when had he gotten so tall?

"There's no question what an honourable man my brother has become" Liam looked over Killian again, "the same way there is no question that my brother's honour has been inspired by a strong and loving woman such as yourself, I do not care if you are the reason he is here or not, the fact that you are risking yourself, your heart, to rescue him is what I do care about, and the way you refuse to take your eyes off him for more than a second, my lady, assures me that he is in safe hands. However before you depart I would like a word with you alone? If you would do me such an honour?" Emma half smiled, not reaching her eyes, taking a deep breath, squeezed Henry's arm and walked with Liam a short distance from the group. Robin and David raced forward to grab Killian under his arms before he fell, and she could feel his constant stare, keeping her eyes trained on Liam face was harder than she thought, in her head was a crazy thought that if she looked away from her pirate for one second he might disappear in a puff of smoke, like some cruel joke.

Killian was waiting, hardly breathing and in pain, not from the vicious cuts and lacerations on his body, but from the pain of being away from Emma, especially in a place as vile and dangerous as this. He watched as Emma nervously played with her jumper and gently pulled the ends of her hair, he'd never seen her so nervous, he was itching to know what they were discussing, what had made his Swan so nervous and uncomfortable and he longed to reach out and stroke her long blonde hair, fingers twitching remembering how soft it was between his fingers. Eventually, after what felt like a lifetime, they both turned and returned to the group, Emma not quite meeting his eyes.

"I've been so rude, where are my manners? I'm Liam Jones, former Captain of the Jewel of the Realm in King George's Navy, I assume you are all the Lady Swan's family?" Emma blushed, "I've already asked you to call me Emma."

Mary Margaret hurried forward, "I'm Mary Margaret, Emma's mother, this is David, her father, and this is Henry, Emma's-"

"You didn't tell me you had a son with my little brother Miss Swan!" Everyone in the group was silent, Killian looked down at his feet and shuffled a little, Emma suspected he would have scratched behind his ear if he wasn't being held up. It was Henry who was first to break the silence, he stepped forward, the kid nearly as tall as Liam.

"Yeah, he's my dad" Emma's eyes widened and Killian's shot up, "That must make you my Uncle Liam then?" without warning or needing permission Henry threw his arms around Liam in a hug, and Liam returned it, looking over his head at Emma he saw her eyes once again well up with tears, and then flutter over to Killian, who was too shocked to look up from Henry. Emma once again could not believe the amount of love in her son's heart, to accept another person into his every growing family, and she knew that Killian would never replace Neal, like her and Regina, he simply been lucky to have two fathers instead of one.

"Well it has been a pleasure to meet you all at last," Liam looked around the group once more "but it's time for us all to go."

"Go? You're coming with us brother?" Killian asked, hopeful, and his eyes sparked again just as they had when he'd realised Emma was here to save him.

"Killian-"

"Brother-" Emma and Liam started at the same time, Emma looked away, more tears running down her face, "brother, I cannot go with you, not this time, you have a family here who want you to come home, a son who needs you, a woman who intends to split her heart with you so that you can live, for me it is time to move on, that's why I was here, Killian, I wanted to make sure you had everything you needed after all your years of heartbreak."

"No, brother, we can find a way to take you with us, there must be a way, I won't leave you here- not on your own, I can stay, I can't leave you-"

"Killian, brother, you aren't leaving me, I have my own journey to take, another mission to complete." Liam simply smiled and looked behind him, as if waiting for something, that's when they heard the chime of the clock tower, and the fog started losing its grey and dark colour and was replaced with white, peaceful clouds of smoke, Liam started walking forwards, turning around and saluting Killian,

"Captain" Liam's laughed echoed around them as the fog dissipated, leaving a clear road before them, it was David's voice that broke them all out of their internal debates,

"Well I don't know about anyone else, but I am ready to go home."

Killian was sitting on the sofa in the loft, while Henry was putting in another pirate film to show him, anything was better than the last one, they actually painted Pan as an innocent boy and not the vile little creature he was, it took him too long to realise the perm and feathery hat was supposed to be him, which led him to sulk on the sofa until Henry insisted the next film would be better. Emma hadn't come back yet, she was acting strange, he supposed she was bound to be a little out of sorts given their trip to the underworld, but everyone else was making an effort to get back to normal, she had barely said to words to him, to anyone really, she would leave early before Killian awoke, which was impressive given he was used to very early mornings, and would return long after he went to bed. Every night he would lie in her bed in the loft and hear her sneak in the door, tip toe upstairs and lay day in the bed, he would never move, would pretend to be asleep until her breathing levelled out, only then would he allow himself to fall into the arms of sleep, tortured by nightmares, waking every morning covered in a thin sheen of sweat and his Swan nowhere to be seen.

Around 8:15 in the evening when Mary Margaret had cooked dinner for everyone, all of them sitting around the table, Emma strolled in through the door, and sat at the table, her eyes down, trained on the plate and he could tell they were red rimmed and puffy, David and Mary Margaret exchanged a knowing look, and continued with dinner, chatting about Granny's new inspiration for the diner, Killian shuddered and hoped it wasn't children like the underworld. As soon as dinner was finished Emma made another mumbled excuse about needing to be at the station and darted out the door, as usual Mary Margaret insisted she would clean the dishes with the help of her husband and sent Killian off to the sofa. He noticed the pair talking in hushed voices in the kitchen, a few feet away, a quick glance to Killian, which he spotted, and he had had enough,

"Alright what is going on? Emma's up to something and I want to help, I'm sitting here every day, not being able to do a damn thing, so tell me what is happening?" Mary Margaret shuffled her feet and looked down, David took a deep breath and started to explain,

"Look, Emma's been having a really tough time here-" This mad Killian angrier than he had been in a long time,

"And I haven't? No, I've only been turned into the dark one because she couldn't let me go, I nearly killed you all, I was stabbed by Excalibur, I was sent to the underworld and became Hades' personal puppet and his dog's favourite chew toy!" He noticed the horror stricken looks of the couple, and was immediately about to apologise, the anger dissipating instantly, feeling a pang in his shared heart, feeling it squeeze as if an invisible fist was clenched around it, before he noticed they weren't looking at him, he turned only to see his Swan standing there, tears flooding her cheeks, hand over her mouth, she turned and bolted out the door, he was frozen to the spot, unable to move.

"I- I didn't mean-" He didn't know what to say, he stared blankly at her parents, Mary Margaret looked sympathetic as he fell on to a stool,

"I know Killian, but the problem is Emma is going through a lot of pain right now, I can't imagine how it must feel to have gone through everything you have done, but think back to when Milah died, you were so angry with Rumpelstiltskin, you spent 300 years planning your revenge! You put all your anger onto him, all your pain and loss and anger," Killian looked up, understanding, "And she hasn't got anyone to place the blame on to… She was the one who…" Mary Margaret stopped there, he understood.

"I thought it was because she couldn't forgive me, I thought it was because I was repulsive to her now, I thought-" David spoke up "Mate, don't you think you should be explaining yourself to someone else?" It was said in anger, David knew it wasn't easy for Killian to explain himself and open up to people, and saw no need to do so more than needed. Killian stood up, grabbed his leather jacket, and slipped on his boots, he stopped and turned round, he didn't know where she would be, he could only think of the place that calmed him, by the ocean and his Jolly-

"The docks, mate, she's by the docks" Killian looked up at David, it shocked him once again how perfect she was, he ran out the door without thinking of another thing, flat out running, and it felt good to feel the fresh air, to stretch his legs, he slowed when the air took on a salty smell, he knew he was close to the docks, he could see his beloved Jolly, pride of place, with a sad smile he noticed, mid-way up the gang plank, was a figure, shoulders slumped, feet dangling over the edge, and he felt his heart pull and tug at the sight before him, his lost and lonely Swan, finding solace on his ship, a place he called home, before he knew what the real thing was. Hearing footsteps approaching Emma lifted her head and saw Killian walking slowly towards her, hands held up, as if she was a frightened animal that would run off at any minute.

"I'm sorry, I just needed a few moments, so now I'll give you your ship back" Emma got up and walked past him, cold and unforgiving, he reached out a hand and held her upper arm.

"Emma, please, wait, I want to talk to you- I need to talk to you, what you heard earlier-"

"It's fine I get it, you were angry, and you clearly still are, and I've apologised but it's not enough, I know it isn't, so I'll stay out of your life, I was thinking of moving back to New York maybe, or Boston, I'm not sure so you don't have to worry about anything- and the heart-" Killian's heart stopped the minute he heard the words, felt his body freeze in place, after all this she was going to leave him? He suddenly felt possessive, protective, he wouldn't let her leave, she couldn't leave not now; the thought of her leaving didn't make his heart ache, it made it burn and rip itself apart; it made it so painful he didn't want the damn thing in his chest. He looked at his Swan, head bowed, and eyes red and puffy once more, he couldn't bare his once bright and beautiful princess to look so broken and alone, why had he waited this long to do this, he would never know.

"You're not going anywhere." It wasn't a command, it wasn't a question or an order, it was a desperate plea "Hook-"

"Don't. I know what happens when you call me Hook and that's not happening, not tonight, there's this anger I can't seem to shake, I can feel it sometimes, and I lashed out and said things, but it's like it wasn't me, I could feel the rage and pain but I didn't say the words, I don't know what's happening" He sounded so broken and tired, she looked up, understanding fluttering across her features.

"Killian, it's the darkness" fear engulfed Killian, memories flooding back, it was like Emma could read his mind, she laughed humourlessly "It's like an after effect, it's leaving the system, I had it too, a couple of days and it'll be all gone, it's not like it's not justified, what I did, it was unforgivable" Her head dropped to her chest again, and Killian let go of her arm like it was on fire, Emma could feel the tears well, but she wouldn't cry again, if this is the end she wouldn't cry, she would remain strong.

"It's perfectly forgivable," her head whipped up "I understand why now, why you've shut yourself off for the past three days but I'm telling you now, stop, I don't forgive you because there is nothing to forgive, you rescued me from the underworld Emma! A worthless pirate, who had nothing to give you, not even his own heart, but you did it anyway, my brave Swan" his hand reaching up to wipe away a tear that had fallen, and tucking a stray hair behind her ear, keeping his hand firmly behind her head, he pulled her close their foreheads touching, his hook resting on her hip, pulling her closer to him, so no space remained between them.

"I think it's time you forgive yourself now, all the pain and anger, let it fade, I'm here now, I'm not going anywhere, I know what it's like to carry that pain, time to let it go" With a deep breath the sobs started pouring out of her, Killian held her tightly, standing there on the gangplank of the Jolly Rodger, beneath the cloudless sky, holding his Swan, he'd stay there forever, but Emma started shivering, even he was feeling the chill in the air tonight, knowing her parents would fuss if they returned to the loft, Killian easily adjusted so his hook was behind Emma's back and used his other arm to sweep under her legs, carrying her onto the Jolly Rodger, and under the deck to the Captain's quarters.

It wasn't small, bigger than any other's on the ship, he strode in and placed Emma on the bed carefully, her hands still clutching the lapels of his jacket, he tried to pry them off but she shook her head and pulled harder,

"Love, I am merely lighting a few candles, I'll be right back, why don't you get comfortable?" She nodded slowly and released her grip on him, he stood up straight and lit the candles in the room, a warm glow illuminated the cabin and he looked over to his swan, she was in a white vest nestled under the covers, she looked beautiful, he stood for a few moments appreciating the curves of her body, the long soft blonde curls running down her back, the light casting a golden glow over her, she looked like an angel, he took off his jacket, folding it neatly and placing it on the chair, years of naval training still ingrained into his brain, followed by his boots, and socks, he unbuttoned his shirt and it too was folded and placed on the chair, he hesitated unsure whether to remove his pants or not, normally he slept without on his ship, at the loft some tracksuit pants had been donated but they weren't here, he didn't want her feeling as though he wanted something from her, both were too fragile for such matters tonight. And as if sensing his dilemma her gentle voice whispered,

"You sleep better without, take them off," he obeyed her orders, folding them and slipping into the bed next to his Swan, she immediately snuggled into his side, resting her head on his chest, directly over his heart, listening to the steady rhythm.

"Yes, it's still there, love" he chuckled, the first genuine laugh in a long time, he suddenly felt, here with Emma, peaceful, as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he was trailing his fingertips up and down Emma's arm, raising goose bumps, she let out a sigh.

"Love?" She hummed, "What did you and Liam talk about the day we left the underworld?" His heart skipped a beat, and then felt it squeeze, "He asked me to take care of you, that you'd been through enough pain and that letting him go again would be hard and that I needed to be here for you, and I guess I failed that bit, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, I couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't worthy and I couldn't forgive myself for what I had done, you deserve better than that Killian"

"Emma Swan, you did nothing that needs forgiveness, next time talk to me, we can get through everything, as long as it's together, I don't ever want to be without you, you've saved me time and time again, I don't think anyone could take better care of me, love"

"Killian, how many times have you died? That's not taking good care of you" Emma try to hide a yawn, but Killian caught it.

"I'm still alive aren't I? You should get some sleep my love, by my accounts you haven't got nearly enough in the past three days, and I don't even want to know how little sleep you got in the underworld."

"Everything is going to be alright now, isn't it?" Killian kissed her forehead, and smiled,

"Everything is going to be fine love, I promise" he could hear Emma's breathing even out and could feel himself start to fall asleep too, it was so peaceful in the cabin of his ship, nothing could ever get them while they were tucked away in their own corner.

"M'Love you" he heard Emma mutter, "I love you too".

Killian awoke in the morning to the soft warm body of Emma Swan next to him, curled around him leaving no space between them, he felt desire pulse through him as he looked down at the angel in his arms, she was awake a trailing patterns on his stomach, he caught her hand and bought it up to his mouth for a kiss, before releasing it and letting it continue its slow torture.

"Good morning, at last, I finally get to wake up to my princess' beautiful face" Emma blushed "Good morning" He kissed her, gently pulling his lip between her teeth making him moan, he released her lips and trailed kisses along her neck, stopping just above her collar bone, and increasing the pressure of his lips, gently sucking and nipping the pale flesh, both knowing it was going to cause a mark, and neither one caring, they were giving themselves to each other completely, Killian rolled on top of Emma and she could feel how much he had missed her, her hips rose to meet him

"Mom? Dad? Are you guys here? Grandma and Gramps are worried, where are you?" the pair froze before grabbing the covers to conceal their bodies as best as possible, before the steps got louder and louder.

"Killian quick!"

"Mom?" the door opened and Henry walked through, immediately regretting the decision and turning to face the wall "Okay! Umm hi guys, I wish I hadn't done that"

Emma quickly pulled on her jeans, and Killian grabbed his shirt and pants and pulled them on, "Sorry about that lad," Henry glanced over his shoulder to check the coast was clear before turning around.

"Grandma and Gramps want you to meet them at the diner for breakfast, you left your phones at the loft so we couldn't call, um so I'll meet you guys there…" Henry's face was bright red and he practically fell over himself to get out of the door, Kilian chuckled and soon Emma's lilted laugh joined in,

"Well shall we head to the diner then?" Emma pretended to think "hmmm well we could, but I was really enjoying my wakeup call"

Killian raised an eyebrow before pushing her back on the bed, easily falling into each other and fitting together like two puzzle pieces, laughter echoed around the cabin that soon turned into moans and gasps of pleasure, learning each other's bodies, forgiving and forgetting the past and the pain, helping to heal one another, and a secret unsaid promise of a better, happier future.

They were very late for breakfast at Granny's.

 **AN:/ Hi, this was my first fanfiction, after reading so many amazing fics I decided to give it a shot myself, I hope you enjoyed it, if you didn't let me know why, and if you did leave a review too :)**

 **Maybe I'll write another fic soon but we'll see how this one goes :)**

 **Thanks for reading, reviews are encouraged!**


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